There were wave after wave of sadness. Circumstances may not have been my own but caught the best of my state of vulnerability. Death seemed to have lurked around my network and took prey on a friend, friends’ parents, friends’ relatives, friends’ unborn children. These, teamed with my forever-homesickness and piling frustrations from work that brought me in the brink of losing my passion, found me in an emotion where life seemed incomprehensible. I wallowed in sadness. My tears too shallow that even rock song lyrics will make me weep. I was walking onto a ledge called giving up.
But even then i knew sadness is ok. My heart needed to break open from time to time so that life can seep in. It allowed me to take a back seat and appreciate what is in front of me. What i have. Who i have. Where i am. Who i am.
I remembered life was meant to be simple. We are born. We live. We lived (and hopefully leave a good mark).
I began to hear the sounds the world makes again, the breaking waves, the whipping wind, falling rain and chirping birds. A moment as simple as walking along the beach basking under the sun with my four-legged baby became a bliss. I am back to consciously making it a point to spend time with people that makes my heart sing, and made distance never a hurdle with everyone only a video call away. Taking one day at a time to appreciate, to give gratitude, to smile and simply breathe.
Allowing life happen for me, not to me.