la vita e bella

in a few months i will turn 35. and if by grace of God i will never ever get old, this would mean i am way past my mid-life.

not to be melodramatic about it, i could accurately say i have lived the life to the foolest. yes. i have done way so many foolish things enough to discount the goodness i have shed in this lifetime. i am not boasting but i am not denying, not that it will do me any good as we all know God is all knowing.

i have wasted a lot of time before getting the job i want and going to the place i wanted to go. i know it wasn’t all up to me. but if i had been more focussed and decided i would have been where i am now 10 years ago.

i have wasted time over wrong relationships. those that you would know was doomed from the very start. and yet i have willingly gambled, played, stumbled and betrayed by my own emotions. Odd though, with regards to this department, there were those i have allowed to slip off my hands and (only happened once) i have thought what if i tried and gave it a chance– there is always that voice inside saying “not meant to be” oh well it was not meant indeed.

i am not bitter. nor i am in a unhappy state or regretting what has passed. may be a “mid-life crisis” syndrome. but these are  just thoughts lingering during times of melancholy which i effortlessly do not dwell on as i know life never fails to give me reasons to smile =)

for now i will continue to savor loving relationships with my family… those i am bonded by blood and those from flourished friendships.

and my constant reminder that no matter how the struggle, as excruciating as the pain may sometimes be, even when it seems you are going against all odds, Life… in all its intents…is Beautiful

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